From New York, rate a “best buy” by “consumer report”.
It is the “late show with David letterman”
Tonight ,Charles Grodin from “the Wayans Brothers”, John Witherspoon,
And opera singer Jessye Norman,
Plus Paul Shaffer and the CBS orchestra,
And now part desert fox, David Letterman!
Dave: Thank you very much. Good evening, Ladies and Gentleman.
Welcome to the show, Tuesday night here in New York City. My name is David Letterman.
You are nothing to worry about tonight.
The audience has been drinking.
All right, hey!
Listen to this, here’s an interesting story. I’m coming to work today …
Paul, you know that guy that stand outside of the ED Sullivan
Theater everyday and gives me the finger?
Paul: Yeah, he’s always there, yeah.
Dave: You know that guy? This has been going on for almost six years.
Every morning when I come to work, the guy is out there.
He gives me the finger.
Well, this morning, this morning, he confessed to me.
That at one time in his life, he had had an adulteress affair …
And he resigned. Just like that, he’s gone. He just took off. Boom!
Paul: Even he!
Dave: He’s out of here!
Paul: Even he!
Dave: Are you folks visiting from out of town? Are you enjoying New York City?
Isn’t this a … yeah, it’s great, isn’t it, this time of year? It’s wonderful.
New York City is very festive around the holidays.
I have one complain about New York City.
They start putting up the decorations earlier and earlier every year.
Have you noticed this? You know what I’m talking about? I give you an example of what I’m talking about.
You know those decorations over there on Fifth Avenue?
Those are for next year, you see what I’m talking about?
Dave: That’s right.
Oh, yeah, and by the way,
I think the best part about the holidays here in New York City, the faces of the children.
Dave: The faces of the kids, you know?
Dave: Right. Get a good look at them. Because later you may have to pick them out of a lineup.
I do that joke every year.
Hi, boys. Boy, have you tried to mail stuff? The post office is crazy, just jammed.
Ma’am, I’m just worried sick. I go to the post office this morning, it’s just crowded.
It’s just like a first fight down there, and I’m sick. I’m worried now.
I hope to God mom gets that case of rolling rock in time for Christmas, because …
Mailed her a case of rolling rock.
You know, I love it when stuff like this happens. Today, today is the first day of winter, all right? So yesterday, it was like 75degrees.
Today is 10 degrees. Because you know, it’s the first day of winter. Like they got a … oh, adjust the dial.
It’s the first day, turning the thermostat.
I was walking through central park, and I saw kind of an “only in New York City” winter scene.
It was very, very cute. I saw, like, a plump, fuzzy little squirrel huddled over a manhole cover.
You know, with the steam coming out of it?
And he was right there warming his nuts, and I said, “boy … you don’t see that except here in New York City.”
You know, we tell that one every year, too, and I’m … I’m not proud of it.
But I love it. I can’t get through of it. Bob Livingston, you know, Bob Livingston from Louisiana,
He was going to be the speaker of the house, and then he said, he said,
“I can’t be the speaker of the house because I ‘ve had extra-marital affairs,” I want to tell you something, ladies and gentleman. Think about this.
This is why President Clinton is so damn great. This is why this guy … this is why President Clinton is President.
President Clinton can run this country while he’s having extra-marital affairs.
You see what I’m saying? But I … you know that … you know Bob Livingston?
You know, I think it’s just as well. I think it’s for the best that Bob Livingston has resigned.
You know, you just can’t have a babe magnet like Bob in that office,
You know what I’m saying? Look at those guys, let’s see. Looks like a guy.
I can’t … looks like a guy. I don’t know who he looks like. He ‘s one of those guys who looks like a guy.